at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
