Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
