last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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