I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
