stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize