What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I want to fling myself into the sun
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
