the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I just googled if crying burns calories
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
