this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
