And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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