you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
He shit in the fireplace
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
