I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
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