Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
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