All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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