come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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