I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize
