I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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