D3 body, D1 cock
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
