I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
