I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
