i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
