But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
