I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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