Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
