Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
