we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
try to milk me bitch
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
