R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
