Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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