just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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