I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Randomize
