2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
