PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Randomize
