We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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