You made me cry and you don't even care
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
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