i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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