Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Randomize
