My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
