Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
