People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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