would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
