Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
