Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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