obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize