I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Randomize
