You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I lost the right to judge tonight
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
