8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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