remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
You can't special order awesome
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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