I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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