then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
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