I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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