Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
