plz talk dirty to me
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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