did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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