Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
well, you know. whores of a feather.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize