nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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