I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
