i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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