get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
