Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Barsexuality is the new black.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
