i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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