I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
