are you so shy because you have an std?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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