He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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