Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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