On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
