its not stalking. its research.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
