She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Randomize
