Well apparently he's into motor boating.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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