Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
