Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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