i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
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