the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I just want to make out with him forever
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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