but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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