I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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